Jaded
by Lady Paine
Summary: "You don't know what hell is." A one shot into the madness of the coffin scene and after.


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I really need to get over that.

A/N: Hope you like. Please leave me a review, no flames though.

Jaded

He knows that when he saved her from that stupid witch, she was different. Jaded. Not innocent. He doesn't like it. And all she says is that it was a dream about a test that she didn't study for in school and she failed. Nothing more she says. He doesn't believe her.

She's a real fighter now, and when she bleeds she doesn't flinch. She doesn't hesitate to kill demons anymore either. All her compassion, her heart, it's gone or hidden he's not for sure. She says no big deal when he brings it up to her, but he knows it is. The dark circles under her eyes say so. And the dreams, no the nightmares are the one place she can't hide from herself. She tosses and turns and screams and cries but the worst is the begging. Begging for it to stop, no more and he has no idea what to do. She won't talk about it. So he just sits in the tree above her and watches her lose herself more and more. He knows it has nothing to do with what they are doing like the others think when he confronts them about it. It has to do with whatever happened in that damn coffin. And it scares him because he has no idea how to protect her. He doesn't like that.

She was innocent and sweet, now there is just a shell of who she once was. Everyone else thinks it's just the stress getting to her. But he knows differently. Today proved it. A person was supposedly possessed by a demon. So they went to go check it out. And we they got there that man had been tortured to insanity. God the carnage! She froze, hell they all did. But that look in her eyes was like she was reliving a memory. That worry's him. Because none of them have seen anything like this before or at least she never has. Then to their horror the villagers started up the torture again. His screams, God his screams! That's when it happened. Kagome she snapped, she grabbed an arrow from her bag and just started stabbing and shooting people killing all of the villagers before he could knock her out. Everyone looked at each other in disbelief and now they know…that they were wrong. God were they wrong. He picks her up like she is the most fragile thing in the world. Maybe she is. He looks around the room one last time, disgusted at what those villagers did and horrified at what Kagome did. He shakes his head and he is gone leaving that horrible town in the dust. The others glance around to horrified for words, they silently follow him out.

When she woke up two hours later, they were all starring at her. She looked down at her hands and saw the blood covering them. She didn't flinch, didn't look down in disgust, she just calmly stood up and walked away from them, away from him. No one followed her, no one but him. He had to. He owed it to her. He found her by a little creek just staring at her reflection in the water. She kept mumbling to herself, he couldn't understand her; it was too low even for him. Then without warning she slammed her hand into the water and let out the most horrendous anguished scream he had ever heard. It killed him not knowing what to do to help her. What was wrong with her, how could he fix it? He didn't know and if was honest with himself he didn't think anything could help her. He watched her as he as she rinsed off the blood, the crystal clear water tinted with red will never leave his mind. She let out a deep sigh before putting up her mask that he was accustomed to seeing now days and heading back to the others. She reminded him in that moment as a broken angel or at least what he thought one would look like. His light, the one thing that kept him going was darkened, tainted. It bothers him. She was supposed to be the light in the darkness, the pure he could never be. He promised her and her mother he would protect her, keep her innocent. He failed. He failed her; it hurt him to fail her. He has failed many people and demons alike but not her, never her. He wasn't supposed to fail her, but he had. God had he. He felt dirty, disgusted with himself. He was horrible; he should have fought harder to keep her in her world, her time. Where the evils of this world could never reach her. She would have been safe. But he hadn't and now he was paying for that.

It wasn't till a couple of weeks later that he got some insight on what happened to her in those lost hours. He had gotten trapped again. Kikyou, it was always her who trapped him. He always falls for it, it should not work anymore, but it does. Kagome reaches him, she always finds him he's thankful for that even though he doesn't always show it. He thinks she is there; Kikyou is talking to some one and is getting upset, but he can't move, can't hear who it is. He's falling now and he thinks maybe he wants to, that is until he hears that scream again. That horrific scream and he has to get to her, he has to help her, and he owes her that. Now it's just Kikyou falling and he should help her but the girl beside him needs him more and he okay with that. He has to let the past go. Maybe now he can. Kagome is looking at her and then opens her mouth; he is prepared for the scream, but not words, not these words.

"You don't know what hell is." That's it, nothing more nothing less. She helps him up the hill, he wants to push her away and yell at her, he can do this by himself. He is not weak, at least not in front of her, never in front of her. He can't be, won't be. But he looks at her, and sees a look on her face that doesn't belong there. It's his look. The grip she has on him it tells him that she is holding on to him as if he was the last thing connecting to her humanity. She is scared of falling into the darkness, the crazy that is there. It's his look, his grip, it shouldn't be on her. It scares him because he has failed in the worst way. He can't bring her back to who she use to be, but maybe just maybe he can keep her from going further into the darkness, further into the madness. She is and will always be, Jaded.

A/N: So what you think? Would you like more? Let me know.


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